Each time I’ve decided to blog it’s come from a burning desire to tell my story, my way, at a pivotal point in my life. In what’s felt like forever and a blink of an eye I am on the verge of a divorce. Hand claps for failure…or winning…or whatever. What I know for sure, this is yet another one of those life altering moments that only speaking my truth can heal. How I feel needs the diligence of sentence structure.
So here it is, I’m just under 40 close to a year shy and filing for divorce. Statistic…maybe! Oddly enough married was never a station I felt I’d stop so maybe these past eight years were a dreamy nightmare that will define who I am for the rest of this life. Let’s hope not but I do know sharing my lessons with you will help me process and hopefully you will learn, cry, shout, and laugh with me on this journey. To be clear, I am not bitter. That is a river sailed by folks who see decisions as mistakes. I do not view my marriage that way. At least I don’t view it that way today.
I won’t lie this is going to be hard. I expect along the way I may even shed some tears on these internet pages. It is impossible to not. I can’t not cry for the loss of something that became a defining moment. Yet I recognize that it defined me incorrectly. Unlearning a marriage might be as fun as getting into one.
At my core, however, I am just a Black Girl from Philly trying not to f*ck up too much to get into heaven. I love hard, support harder, and go to the edges of all of me for anyone in my inner circle. Oftentimes at my own detriment. I yearn to give back in a truly Faith way, so buckle up for this sarcastic but real dose of my life.
In case you clutched your pearls because of language, it will get worse. I was raised by a Marine, which is honestly no excuse but I write how I talk and speak how I want. Love it or leave it alone.
Always remember, to share is to care and hashish!
Quick link to the beginning of this drama, sip some tea with me…
